Confucius say: 'Doc most creepy fellow'

Just when you think Doc, aka "Jim McManus," couldn't possibly get any creepier, we're happy to report it's worse than you feared. Made curious by recent references on the Yahoo OMEX site to Doc's alleged peddling of anti-Chinese immigrant sentiment, as well as playing up to a bizarre Catholic conspiracy that claims the Chinese government is slowly "invading" the U.S. (for what purposes, we never learn), it didn't take us long to track down the evidence for ourselves (you gotta love that Internet and Google, baby).

Here's a direct quote that cites McManus as an "eyewitness" source:

Thousands of Chinese enter US through Virgin Islands

At least one eyewitness on the islands, Jim McManus, believes there is a Chinese invasion-taking place against the United States by the hundreds, and it's happening in his own back yard. McManus owns a diving operation in St. Thomas. He explained that when caught, the Chinese are taken onto an airplane and flown to Louisiana without charge. Once in Louisiana, they meet with a lawyer, their bail is posted and they "disappear into the woodwork" of American society. (Link)

When directly confronted about this nonsense on Yahoo, Doc seemed to confirm his dirty involvement in this shameful business by making this rather creepy post. He's one helluva nice guy, this McManus, eh?

We have to go scrub the filth off now....

Photo Caption: Intrepid Chinese Hunter, Jim McManus, creeps out one of the more intelligent members of the animal kingdom.

Who's on first, bitch?

We haven't posted much of late because, frankly, the HHI clowns have been pretty quiet. We were beginning to think something was up, but then Doc and the Angry Twit, as usual, came through for us today.

First, as an aside and regarding Doc, we understand the judge in his libel trial tossed overboard yet another request by him to have the case dismissed. McManus is now going to trial. Things should get interesting and we're really looking forward to seeing how Twit Minor incorporates the FBI and the Attorney General's office into his grand defense plan. We think this will likely give us weeks of excellent material. (You think?)

So, here's the predictably stupid exchange on HHI today between Doc and Solomon, doing the usual master and servant routine (though, fair warning, it's hardly the quality of Bertie and Jeeves; in fact, it's much closer to Abbot and Costello, or perhaps even Starsky and Hutch).

Doc: "From the docket it would appear we are drawing closer to a verdict in this case."

Well, actually no, dumb ass, we're far from a verdict. In fact, we now enter into discovery. Perhaps you should bone up on your court procedures, especially now that you find yourself in a trial, Mister-I-shall-be-ruined-but-heard. (What's Doc got to lose, really? His flask? Though, don't underestimate his emotional attachment to it -- we hear it's practically an appendage.)

As usual, Sir Solomon the Angry Twit swoops in with a mighty bitch slap to his loathed American cousin.

Solomon: "Doc, Well, of course as time progresses, we must be always be nearing the conclusion...."

Another Deep Thought by the Angry Twit. Perhaps he should self-publish these bon mots? (We'd buy some to use as coasters, or an emergency TP supply.)

Solomon: "...However, this signals the start of the discovery phase and quite possibly, it should have begun much earlier. The delay has been brought about by the seemingly endless series of motions, which is unusual for a (normally simple) admiralty arrest - Pizzo is probably sick and tired of it already. He has other, important (probably criminal) cases to handle."

No projection going on here, no sir! Solomon's mental powers are such he can read the thoughts of a federal court judge residing thousands of miles away in Tampa. He also apparently has access to Pizzo's "to do" list where he can determine the judge's appropriate priorities. Oh, and a minor detail for our favorite know-it-all Brit (who undoubtedly was solving trigonometry problems in his Mother's womb): Pizzo works in a court of civil law, not criminal, but thanks for playing, you silly sot.

Are these clowns great or what?

Of course, it wouldn't be a normal day unless Doc worked in the last word, especially since he now has to come crawling, properly chastised, before his colleague and supreme American hater:

Doc: "Solomon,I agree with you, Judge Pizzo must be getting tired of all the delay. (1) {"The Court finds Odyssey’s appeal for secrecy to be disingenuous and utterly without merit."} I hope the phrase,"appropriate discovery deadlines", refers to an end to all the 'smoke and mirrors' tap dancing around the cardinal issues of this matter."

Aw, ain't that cute? Doc reverently quotes Solomon to Solomon, which we suppose is the proper supplicant approach. But man! We just might have to alert the authorities about this abuse, it borders on the obscene!

Have a great weekend all!

The Crowing Cock

“He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.” ~ George Eliot

It doesn't take much digging to uncover the depth of Sir Solomon the Angry Twit's arrogance and condescension toward everyone around him, even his so-called "friends." Nearly every day he posts gems that put his prancing, high-and-mighty opinion of himself out there for general consumption. One can begin to understand why Doc is the fawning second banana: Solomon is clearly the smarter of the two (which ain't saying much) and he doesn't let the American McManus forget it.

Here are but two examples from today.

Solomon: "About half a century ago, when I was at school and solving all the world's mysteries -- you know the sort: who was Jesus, King Arthur and Robin Hood; how did the universe begin and how, if ever, will it end, what are ghosts, and so on -- I discovered that all the continents fitted together. This was before I learned of tectonic plates. That was when I decided that Atlantis must have been in the Mid-Atlantic Ridge."

Ah yes, when he wasn't busy buggering (that infamous British boarding school pastime), old Solomon was revolutionizing established geological concepts (and he didn't even know it!). In reality, we suspect the Angry Twit mostly stood around with his index finger firmly entrenched in his nostril, trying to advance theories of proboscis mining.

Solomon: "I was very privileged, when working in Intelligence, to be invited to help Bletchley Park, which with the help of American billionaire Sidney Frank, is now a Trust [sic]. Many men and women at Bletchley devoted themselves to helping win the war. Not even their families suspected what they were doing, even in the following decades. They were an odd collection of characters, the most brilliant minds we had. They trained Americans in their technologies and methods, which helped the US forces immensely."

Solomon no doubt fetched papers and served tea, but he was there, so he must be brilliant too, no? (See how his insecure logic works?) And note the usual air of condescension toward Americans. Yes, if it hadn't been for the Brits, America's intelligence services surely never would have gotten off the ground on their own.

This is the sort of baseless arrogance that led a bunch of scrappy colonists to kick ass and take names several hundred years ago. And we all know how that turned out, now don't we?

Now he's done it...

There's little doubt in our opinion that Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ has crossed into libelous and defamatory territory. Check it out.

Solomon: "A pattern is emerging. May 22, 2008. ORDER denying 109 Motion to compel and striking affidavit of Gregory P. Stemm. The Clerk is directed to return the affidavit to Odyssey's counsel. Signed by Magistrate Judge Mark A. Pizzo on 5/22/2008. (DK) (Entered: May 22, 2008). The judge writes of Stemm's work: Upon review, it is clear that this affidavit was not properly filed under seal in the first place, and is therefore stricken. The president of Odyssey Marine is a renowned lawyer. The company has a lawyer on its staff. They hire teams of lawyers. And yet this bumbling incompetence."

The President of Odyssey is a renowned lawyer? Beg your pardon? Is this some more of HHI's stellar research on display? The President of Odyssey is not a lawyer. The Angry Twit is wrong.

Solomon: "The key seems to be Stemm, who wrongly filed the affidavit. It raises the question: what is Stemm doing, filing an affidavit? That is the job of his many lawyers.

Stemm didn't file his affidavit, his attorneys did. Again, the Angry Twit is wrong.

Solomon: "But then, look back a short time and you see Stemm personally issuing a press release to Reuters. That was surely the job for the PR people."

Stemm didn't file a press release with Reuters. He conducted an interview with them. Again, the Angry Twit is wrong.

Solomon: "The desperate position Odyssey is now in sees Stemm increasingly isolated. It paints an unattractive picture of a man in extremis, surrounded by enemies, not trusting his colleagues, driven into a corner by events of his own making...That Stemm is desperate is not surprising. That he appears to spurn his professional advisors and is determined on handling everything himself, speaks volumes for his state of mind."

Much laughter ensued from this comment. For if there's anyone who comes across as "isolated," "unattractive," and paranoid, it's obviously the increasingly shrill Solomon. We think perhaps his unconscious is trying to break out, and his hateful obsession with a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed shipwreck explorer is cracking his already feeble mind. And, at least in terms of the UK standard, we think this is as close to a defamatory statement as you're going to get.

Finally, what Solomon rant would be complete without a loving slurp from Twit Minor, lap dog extraordinaire, Doc?

Doc: "Solomon, I concur. Some of the public statements made by Stemm have been quoted in court by James Goold much to the detriment of Odyssey."

Eh, what's that? Have you not been paying attention again, Doc?

Doc: What I find most intriguing is the fact that from the beginning Stemm referred to one significant wreck. In view of the fact that Odyssey was called on the carpet by Spain and made to acknowledge sovereignty back in 2006 (1) and Stemm's own statement in 2000 (2) regards sovereignty what could possibly induce Odyssey to target a Spanish warship, international waters or not.? [sic] Furthermore, if a person had this knowledge, and the legal precedents we are all aware of, how would you describe this behavior with regard to the stock market? I fully expect that the "treasure" will be returned to Spain with court costs. Mr Goold has publicly stated the Odyssey's troubles have just begun and I for one believe it."

And since criminally stupid insanity is not an allowable defense in a libel trial, we fully expect Doc's "insights" to be found guilty in a court of law whereupon his literally hundreds of wrong-headed, foolish ideas, statements and outright lies will be permanently discredited and properly disposed of.

But, in the meantime, Doc, by all means keep digging. It's very good for business.

We love the media! (i.e., When we don't hate them)

Most of the time the HHI clowns can't restrain themselves from criticizing the media, particularly when the reporting runs counter to their truly held beliefs about Odyssey. But watch out when an article appears to go their way. Like a bunch of school girls hopped up on Pepsi, they can barely restrain themselves.

After noting an article from New Zealand on HHI and highlighting this particular quote:

This rosy scenario had detractors. In April the New Yorker reported that History Hunters International, a website run by three British sceptics, had questioned the wreck's true identity and suggested that the Royal Navy's entire budget in 1694 was smaller than the Sussex's supposed cargo.

A drooling, rather thick feller named "Scribe," so pleased for his HHI masters, offers to make Doc an "honorary Brit." (We're certain Benny Hill would be appalled.)

Doc, who needs as much moral support as possible considering that when he's not rescuing sun-burned tourists from boat breaksdowns (wow, the illustrious life of an explorer!), has to worry about how to save his ass in his libel case, can barely keep from busting.

Doc: "Scribe, Thank you for both the honor and that article. It would appear that our struggle is gaining still more attention. The author seems to have an excellent grasp of the facts of the issue. Pity the poor shareholders of OME stock. I expect James Goold is correct in saying that the wheels of the legal machinery will start turning much faster. I, for one, can hardly wait to see justice done in this matter. Cheers."

The "honor"? You mean being stroked by one of your HHI minions is an "honor"? Sounds like you're seriously deficient in the honor category, Doc. We're shocked.

What, of course, is missing in the article is that Doc is being sued for libel by Odyssey Marine, both for comments made on Yahoo and HHI. We wouldn't be surprised if History Hunters is next on the company's libel list considering Solomon's recent obvious defaming of the company.

Stay tuned for that....

His Holy Assload Has Spoken

You don't need to focus exclusively on Odyssey at HHI's website to see what an asshat Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ can be. No matter how innocuous the topic, the poor bastard just can't help himself from fairy slapping those he contemptuously disagrees with.

Now, here are some apparently good-natured folks simply having a fun, friendly debate about the lost city of Atlantis...that is, until the Angry Twit prances onto the scene, nose tip and pinkies held aloft, to survey the scene and then shit all over everyone's parade. Check it out:

Solomon: "'Apparently the story of Atlantis has been handed down long before Plato.' Good morning, Don Jose! Until you or somebody can confirm that there was an Atlantis, with something a lot more positive than that, there is no mystery to be solved. I have looked at a lot of mysteries in my time - from the biblical Jesus to the Oak Island Money Pit - and Atlantis fits the resultant picture I formed: there is nothing at its core. Hence the unending speculations - they have to be unending because it is not possible to solve a mystery which does not exist."

It truly takes a God complex to announce you've personally looked into and dismissed Jesus, and thousands of years of established Christianity, as a core-less myth, no? But this obvious arrogance doesn't sit well with other members.

"Shirley": "Solomon....With all due respect to your knowledge and wisdom, much much more than I can ever hope to achieve. Do you not think you put people who have not had the advantage of your education, at a disadvantage. Is this not a site from which we can learn, and make up our own minds. At least you could give us the opportunity to do so. How else are we to know who or what is right or wrong. The very point of reading all posts on this matter allows us to do the same thing. Because you yourself have sought and found the answers that satisfy's [sic] you, does not mean that we would not like to be given the opportunity to do the same. As in all democratic forums, I hope this post will not be deleted. I stand firm in my post, and would like Don Jose to be able to continue his thread for as long as is needed until our own decisions have been reached. My respect and regards to you."

Oh darling Shirley, please, rise from your knees and realize the HHI of Solomon and Doc is far from "democratic." In fact, you'll be lucky if daring to speak so directly to the Prince of Dorkness doesn't result in not only your deletion (and what does it say about HHI that she brings this possibility up?), but also the banishment of your IP address so that you may never return to ponder Atlantis.

But, whoa, look at this, yet another disloyal subject has the nerve to speak without being called upon by his Royal Asshat!

"Oroblanco": "Greetings, My such absolute statements. At one extreme we have the claim to have located the actual Atlantis, at the other extreme a complete dismissal of Atlantis as having "nothing" at its core. I generally try to couch my statements to leave at least a little bit of wiggle room, but then I don't suppose it would get anyone's attention if someone were to say that he "thinks" he "might" have found Atlantis. Solomon I do not know you, but your statements deny even the value of literary work of our friend Plato; after all, even if the tale was cut from whole cloth, his story has managed to captivate the imaginations of so many millions of people around the world for thousands of years. Few works of writing have ever matched that feat.I would like to ask your specific problems with the story of Atlantis, Solomon; if you would not mind sharing the various points or point in public? Thank you in advance."

Imagination? "Imagination" is for fools and Yahoo investors. Solomon only deals in absolute absolutes. And how dare you speak so openly to the Angry Twit and make demands on his precious time -- time that could be spent more productively pursuing his obsession with a certain dreamy blond-haired, blue-eyed treasure hunter!

Let us bring this nonsense to and end!

Solomon: "Hello Shirely [sic] and Oroblanco, and welcome Guests...Until you or somebody can confirm that there was an Atlantis, with something a lot more positive than that, there is no mystery to be solved. This is a challenge to study the origin of the legend, not a dismissal of the debate. The dismissal was made by Don Jose, with his statement I quoted: Apparently the story of Atlantis has been handed down long before Plato. Is that enough to start studying the story of Atlantis as if it were an historical reality? The legend may predate Plato and if so, then its origin needs study before unfounded assumptions are made. If our investment in a subject is to be productive, then I think we need to first establish a firm foundation. Now I ask you to look again at my second and final statement: I have looked at a lot of mysteries in my time - from the biblical Jesus to the Oak Island Money Pit - and Atlantis fits the resultant picture I formed: there is nothing at its core. Hence the unending speculations - they have to be unending because it is not possible to solve a mystery which does not exist. That is a personal view. ""I have looked..." and "picture I formed..." are qualifications of a personal opinion. There is nothing wrong with that. Your qualified personal opinions are truly welcome.As for learning, it allows informed speculation, which in my opinion is all we will have for Atlantis, unless the legend is shown to be true. Uninformed speculation is for the Coffee Shop, not History."

Poor Solomon, he couldn't be less subtle if he wore a red-feathered boa and sang show tunes in gaudy make-up. So, there you have it: The Master's "final" comments on the matter. He may as well have said: Take my words as holy script, shut your mouths and open your hearts and minds to my force of will. Or else, as you clearly already fear, ye shall be banished.

We don't know where you reside, dear reader, but we're pretty sure that at least 99 percent of the world's cultures would categorize Solomon as a tiresome douchebag. Make that Lord Douchebag to you, pal.

Mutual Stupidity Society

Nothing is uglier that watching Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ and Doc get into a mutually beneficial stroke fest. As we reported earlier, the Angry Twit is taking credit for killing the Sussex project (which, of course, is a lie), but now he's also making explicit threats to British officials for even daring to support the contract with Odyssey to begin with (I'm sure they must be terrified, after all, what's more terrifying than a raving, cross-dressing ex-TV producer?).

Doc, or as we shall refer to him going forward, "Twit Minor," is also idiotically prattling on about a "class action" investor lawsuit. Don't ask us where the kook comes up with this stuff (perhaps from the bottom of liquor bottles?). Minor Twit proves to us once again that he doesn't know if his asshole was punched or bored.

So, if you can stomach some fairly repulsive mutual masturbation between twits, here you go:

Doc: "Solomon,I would imagine that the holders of Revenue Participation Certificates, or RPCs, are contemplating some sort of class action. It cannot be long in coming in my opinion. What I look forward to is the cancellation of the contract by the UK. In view of the fact that OME no longer lists the HMS Sussex among their ongoing projects I expect HM Government will act accordingly."

After much snoz sniffing and pinkie twirling, the Angry twit responds:

Solomon: "Doc, I find everything to do with both Odyssey Marine and its investors to be a bad joke. The company is never straight about anything and their investors seem to be blind. I wouldn't count on them doing anything until long after this is over. My interest these days is in preparing to crucify British officials and politicians for their support of this contract, the nonsense history and archaeology upon which it is based. The British members of the oversight committee have no excuse. I plan on seeing them held as fully accountable."

Hmmm, "crucify." Looks like that HHI member wasn't too far off with his charge that the HHI nitwiterati have a bit of the God complex going on.

The blind leading the blind stupid is never pretty. But it is funny, you have to admit that.

HHI Clowns out on the Town

What do you get when a bunch of HHI members assemble? A bunch of retards trying to hump a door knob.

You'll particularly enjoy the history poseurs' thinking "out loud"....

Sassy Solomine

The latest from the lecture that would never end....

Solomon: "'The American Phenomenon of Treasure Hunting'...Subculture: The set of values, behaviour and attitudes of a particular group of people who are distinct from, but related to, the dominant culture in society. This concept is mostly associated with deviant groups."

Deviant groups, eh?

You mean like cross-dressing ex-TV producers with hostility issues and a deep-rooted obsession with a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed treasure hunter?

P.S. Oh yeah, the Angry Twit also took credit today for bringing the Sussex project to an end. Evidence? Odyssey didn't include a project update about it in its latest 10-Q. Gee, we're not sure, but we think the company might be just a little distracted by a little something called the Black Swan. We'll give you credit for this, though, Solomon: You're a right royal cheese dick.

UPDATE (5/21/08): In the comments section of this post, our friend Jeff K. has rightly noted that Odyssey did, in fact, address the Sussex project and provided an update in the Q&A distributed publicly for the company's annual shareholders meeting. Please read Jeff's comment for more in-depth information. Once again, proving the Angry Twit is an uninformed twat not worth listening to.

'A touch of the God complex'

Senor Solomon the Angry Twit™ -- already displaying extreme paranoiac insanity the past week -- crossed over into what we think is libelous territory today.

In his week-long rambling “discourse” that lamely attempts to tie together highly selective slices of U.S. history to “prove” his thesis that treasure hunting fraud is a uniquely American tradition, Solomon has veered from the Puritans, to the Southern Planter class, to the Salem witch trials, the Mormons, the Masons, William Randolph Hearst, and whatever else he could find in the kitchen sink. In other words, in our biased eyes the man has gone a long way toward confirming his already bat-shit crazy reputation.

But now he’s also taken a step closer to outright libel, in our opinion. (Remember, as we’ve said before, it’s much easier to be charged with libel and defamation in the UK than in the U.S.)

Solomon: “…this is the mechanism of Odyssey's business plan: start a rumour, pump the stock, make a buck. It isn't about making a profit from salvage. (It certainly isn't about history and archaeology.)”

So he’s now accused a publicly traded company of using lies (a more direct word than “rumor”) to artificially inflate its stock price for illicit gain. Note there’s no “in my opinion, or “it would appear that…,” or any of the other usual disclaimers one would expect to use when trying not to slander a company or person.

He adds:

Solomon: “Time to look under the rock and see the ignorance, bigotry and sheer bile of this group which pumps Odyssey stock without disclaimer from the company.”

(Funny the Angry Twit references “sheer bile,” considering you can almost feel the man’s spittle hitting you as you read his words, but never mind.)

He then lists a few posts from anonymous Yahoo posters (none of whom are regular contributors to the board) that vent understandable frustration about Spain’s behavior toward Odyssey. As if this is conclusive evidence of the opinion of an entire nation, or even a wide margin of Odyssey investors. And, what is this ridiculous nonsense about holding Odyssey responsible for the comments of a bunch of unnamed, unknown individuals who post on an obscure financial forum?

Would Solomon like to take responsibility for Doc's libelous comments about Odyssey? Perhaps he should? Can Solomon truly be this dumb? We think so.

Even some of the HHI hoi polloi seemed to be tiring of Solomon’s and Doc’s endless obsession with bringing down Odyssey. One member writes (the emphasis in red is ours, for obvious reasons):

Don Jose.... I am thinking there is a reason these discussions have stopped in their tracks...in fact some of us have chatted about it when we actually get together... The owners and or mods of this web site seem to have a touch of the god complex so it makes it hard to carry on a decent conversation. Unless the vatican opens their doors...or time travel is invented....i think most of us american treasure hunters will never have enough proof to satisfy those mentioned above. In fact before i posted this reply to you i was reading a few posts here and there and i think i'll rest my case with this quote...."Today, another bunch of ignorami are spending millions on this futile quest. And they are all Americans. Solomon"… Anyways....don jose my friend....come visit the old gang at the ALT forums.... ~ DW

Let’s see how long it takes for this comment to be removed, or this member to be threatened with banishment (or just simply banished) for daring to question and criticize the words and actions of the Great Leaders.

The level of stupidity and hypocrisy of the HHI brass never fails to amaze us....

UPDATE (5/21/08): We know you will find this very difficult to believe, but the "God Complex" comment has been deleted from HHI's website, replaced with another droning treatise from Solomon about Plato's left testical (or some such thing, we quickly lost interest). There's also no trace of the poster -- he's undoubtedly been sent straight to HHI purgatory, where if he's a good boy, they might let him wax Doc's back on his way back to their good graces. So much for the openness and honest debate Solomon makes so much about.

Gosh, yet more evidence of history poseur hypocrisy. We're simply shocked we tells ya!

Doc the Plunderer?

The HHI clowns posted a translation of a Spanish reporter's interview with Jim Goold, the attorney representing Spain in the Black Swan case.

This question caught our eye:

Was Odyssey aware of the illegality of their actions?

To make it clear, and clear beyond any doubt that activities such as those of Odyssey were not authorized and were banned, the Government of Spain issued an official note in the U.S., targeting American companies and citizens through the State Department in February 2004. It said that any alteration is not permitted and any commercial exploitation of underwater cultural heritage Spanish was prohibited.

Now that's interesting. Because it wasn't that long ago that old Doc McManus was flouting a shipwreck he said he found in the Virgin Islands that he claimed was Spanish in origin. Now if this is true, and the Spanish government has forbade any U.S. citizen to pursue their underwater cultural heritage without their explicit permission, then wouldn't Doc also now be squarely in Spain's cross hairs?

We also wonder if this is why all traces of Doc's recent gloating about finding this shipwreck have completely disappeared from the HHI website.

Papers in order, Doc?

Mormons & Masons & Treasure Hunters, Oh my!

Sir Solomon the Angry Twit's on a grand historical quest over at HHI. Even we're impressed by the depth and range of his posting of completely disparate, disconnected sources to "establish" his lunatic thesis that treasure hunters evolved from a long American tradition of mysticism and fraud.

Of course, he's not fooling anyone here, as the end game is clearly to try to slime Odyssey (does HHI serve any other purpose? We don't think so.). Of course, like a good history poseur, Solomon doesn't hesitate to cherry pick niche moments in U.S. history to conveniently support his deeply goofy "arguments."

Here are some appropriately lunatic excerpts:

Solomon: "Now we have the histories of fraudulent treasure hunting using fraudulent scrying, credulous Planters being taken advantage for the little money they had, leading to the creation of a new cult. What does Mormonism have to say about this? They have employed their best minds to argue, but all it amounts to is a whinging 'you just don't understand', whereas their problem is, some do understand all too well. The Mormon leadership is well aware of the historical truth and how damaging it is....Why do I bother with this? Because it appears to me that very many have since learned nothing. Worse, they refuse to learn. You see how, tackling the inventions and frauds of treasure hunters, one enters a dark realm."

A "dark realm." Sounds positively sinister.

Solomon: "I mentioned earlier how Planters were commonly Puritan Protestant Scots bent on established their brand of Christianity in new lands. You will see many of the names in this account are Scottish in origin. One may bear in mind, in this regard, that however common is the name Smith, it is also the name of a Highland clan.We will be returning to the Smiths, mysticism and its employment in fraudulent treasure hunting. Look out for 'masonic jewels'. "

Yes, better look out for those.

Solomon: "We will now begin to see how the invented tales of Kidd treasure, which sparked a cultural phenomenon of scrying for treasure along along the Atlantic seaboard of North America - which led to much fraud and the creation of Mormonism - washed up on the shores of Nova Scotia."

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Everybody following along?

Solomon: "These claims for Kidd's treasure are indicative that:

1. The treasure hunt is part of the treasure scrying phenomenon of the late 18th and early 19th centuries. In the case of Nova Scotia, they are merely behind with the times.
2. There is no treasure. The sole point of the exercise is to raise money.
3. There may be a link between the Oak Island multiple frauds and early Mormons.

As I wrote earlier, treasure hunting American-style is less about finding treasure than reaching into somebody-else's wallet."

Why sure, makes perfect sense.

Well done, sir. You've proven you're well on your way to being certified a nut job.

Another False "Start"

We suppose we should have seen this as inevitable: After first claiming that Odyssey recovered the Black Swan (BS) treasure from Spanish territorial waters, then later Portugal's, the HHI nitwiterrati are now stating the obvious by pointing out the company actually found the treasure within the Portuguese Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ), an area which primarily governs fisheries and resource management.

So, do you think Doc and Solomon disclaim their initial, cleary mistaken statements? Of course not. They just move on unencumbered, magically freed from the stupidity and wrongness of earlier claims. In other words, if at first you don't succeed, try, try to confuse and lie again. Well, that's what the historic record is for and why we're here to present it to you.

Does the BS fall into Portugal's EEZ, at least according to Odyssey? Yes. So what?

Under the United Nations Convention on Law of the Sea (UNCLOS), the EEZ is covered by Articles 56, 58 and 59. The EEZ extends from the land to 200 nautical miles out and defines nation's rights to explore and exploit natural resources, as well as to exercise jurisdiction over marine science research and environmental protection. Freedom of navigation and over-flight, laying of submarine cables and pipelines, as well as other uses consented on the high seas, are allowed.

Interestingly, the U.S. delegation to UNESCO opposes Article 5 of the Draft Convention, which would allow coastal states to control underwater cultural heritage on their continental shelf or EEZ. The U.S. regards this provision as an unacceptable expansion of rights, or "creeping jurisdiction," in violation of the LOS treaty. The U.S. delegation has instead proposed a provision that would call on states that claim a contiguous zone to adopt laws and regulations to control underwater cultural heritage in that specific zone, something that is already allowed under LOS.

So, once again HHI is trying to make yet another pig fly. As usual, all they accomplish is being covered in its muck and mire.

Merry &*#@ Chistmas!

We stumbled upon a new area on the HHI website called the "coffee shop."

What a find, Ladies and Gentlemen! It offers up a treasure trove (sorry, we couldn't resist) of evidence revealing the sheer depth of stupidity of most of the history poseurs. In fact, look for us to mine this wonderful resource over the coming days and weeks...yes, there's that much material!

In light of our earlier post about Solomon's clunky thesis about superstition and treasure hunting over history, and how this connects to Odyssey's malevolence and the stupidity of its investors, we found a post we believe may have been his first stumbles on this half-baked idea. Not surprisingly, he outed this "idea" in last year's "Christmas Message," which one might assume would be full of good tidings. Uh, no. That's just not how our little Solomon operates.

Here are some of his specific comments, related to Odyssey and treasure hunting, and broken up into digestible pieces with our usual smart ass play-by-play interspersed throughout. And so, without further ado, select passages from Solomon's warm and fuzzy "Christmas Message," December 22, 2007:

Solomon: "You may have some awareness of how History Hunters has been opposing some US-based treasure-hunting companies."

Gee, really? Hadn't noticed.

Oh but: There are other companies besides Odyssey getting the HHI treatment? How did we miss that?

Solomon: "Though most may be in favour of finding 'treasure' - however you define that - it may be no coincidence that magic, mysticism and treasure hunting have a very long tradition of going hand-in-hand ... Just as History Hunters opposes mysticism posing as history, in general, so we particularly oppose treasure hunting frauds. Personally, I despise them."

"Mysticism posing as history"? What the hell is that? Is Penn & Teller teaching early colonial history at Brown? Did David Blaine publish a book challenging modern notions of Thomas Paine? Did David Copperfield make the National Archives disappear?

Also, as an aside, and a friendly suggestion for Solomon: It might be easier, and save us all a lot of time, if you simply listed those things you don't despise.

Solomon: "If anyone asks for money to finance a treasure hunt and cannot provide the evidence to support their claims, they should be viewed with the utmost scepticism."

Thank you, Solomon, thank you. This is a powerful, not-at-all obvious insight about the human condition. Not only did this new way of perceiving the "treasure hunt" merit personal journal entries for all of us, it also found a special place of honor in our "How Not to be a Complete Dumb Ass" guide book.

Solomon: "I would add that I would also hold them in contempt."

Yes, of course.

And, while we're not medical doctors (well, actually one of us is), we'd recommend you slow down on the consumption of contempt. Devouring all that negativity is going to give you indigestion, or something worse.

Solomon: "This is, of course, exactly what Odyssey Marine is doing, claiming to have historical records to demonstrate a number of ridiculous claims for treasure. History Hunters knows for a fact that Odyssey cannot support its claims, as that company and its silly, ignorant investors are going to find out the hard way." [Italics our emphasis]

Hmmm, you say HHI "knows for a fact" that Odyssey is lying to investors and that bad days are inevitably coming? Well, while it's lovely of you to be looking out for others (even if you consider the whole lot idiots), it would seem to us this statement alone, dropped like a stinking turd in the middle of a delightful holiday season message, has the rather distinct odor of libel. We wonder if Odyssey ever noticed this comment?

Well, we bet they're aware of it now. (We do what we can.)

Solomon: "For all those who insist on selling unsupported nonsense and attacking those who support science, objectivity, knowledge and openness, enjoy your Christmas repast with this warning: I do know what you're up to and will oppose you every step of the way. That's my New Year's resolution."

No psychotic paranoia going on here, no sir. All this talk of being attacked and attacking (in a Christmas message to boot)! In other words, Solomon is saying: "Enjoy your Christmas holiday, motherf&*#@, but know this: I, Sir Solomon the Angry Twit, shall not be trifled with! You have been warned. Good day."

As your HHI minions like to repeat like a mantra: "Good form!"

The Angry Twit Goes Mystical

In an attempt to undoubtedly overcome his deep and abiding disappointment that Odyssey hasn't been convicted yet and taken out back and hung, our favorite Angry Twit is getting all metaphysical on us.

In the usual HHI style of pseudo-academic pondering, nitwit half thoughts, simplicities offered up as profundities, and rambling, discursive writing, Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ attempts to connect the history of the metaphysical (or the anti-scientific method), to the "fraudulent" work of Odyssey, and, of course, by extension, to insult the intelligence of all those who dare to foolishly support or invest in the company.

Some highlights from our favorite twat's (oops...sorry, we, of course, more respectfully meant "twit's") latest treatise, haughtily entitled "The American Phenomenon of Treasure Hunting":

Solomon: "Belief in mysticism and mythology is the antithesis of science. Who is the most likely to succeed in locating and finding 'treasure': seer or scientist? If common sense fails to provide the correct answer, results do not. Put another way: which is more likely to get you from New York to LA - an airliner, or a flying carpet? Simple, when you think about it. But not easy for many treasure hunters, who when confronted with science in general and archaeology in particular, throw up their hands and cry 'Why science? Why archaeology? Surely there's another way?!' Well, no, there is not."

Wow, that's really heavy dude...like, pass the joint. We're going to take a deep toke and get on our magic carpet for this ride. Lay the next non sequitur on us, oh wise one!

Solomon: "The USA - a land where Creationism competes with science - the most powerful nation the world has ever seen and where many refuse to accept the Moon landings, believe an angel watches over them, where millions believe they have been kidnapped by aliens, and where there is an endless list of companies (historically) selling stock to finance treasure hunts. It could dent one's belief in the value of democracy."

Wow dude, we don't know, but we're pretty sure you just dissed America big time. So, what are you saying here? Odyssey is a fraud because Americans are stupid and gullible? Your line of thinking in this paragraph, which forgive us, is all over the place, just lost us, bro.

Give us a moment, would you, while we consult our Ouija board. Okay, so, here's what the spirits want to know: What does all this have to do with the "value of democracy?" Are you suggesting fascism would better suit America? That it would make us smarter and less susceptible to snake charmers? Or are you perhaps suggesting we place ourselves under the rule of know-nothing bureaucrats such as you and your delusional mates? (Extreme shudders all around....)

Interesting point, we guess. But please pass the joint again, man, 'cause we're getting a righteous headache.

Solomon: "I am a believer in the harm caused by bad ideas. I do not suppose we care too much about the rich losing an investment in a treasure hunt, but most investors - and most 'marks' - have been dirt poor."

Yes, those poor silly rubes over at GLG, Janus Capital and Fortress Investment. Odyssey taking advantage of these pathetic, uninformed dill-weeds! Why, it just makes us want to...want to...burn or tear something up! Like maybe our wives' bras or something that would make the appropriate statement!

That's some powerful, revolutionary stuff there, homeboy. We're frankly exhausted from laughing so hard. We can't wait to read more of your theories connecting Odyssey's evil to the Salem witch trials, the Pilgrims, the Puritans, the Renaissance, the oppression of Galileo, moon landings and alien abductions, the stupidity of Americans, and so much more! (Hey, just for our silly American palate, can you work in something about Elvis sightings too?!)

So, there you have it, friends, yet another collection of "deep thoughts" from the Angry Twit. Pretty formidable opponents Odyssey has, wouldn't you agree? Solomon, we see a possible book contract for you in all this, perhaps from Loony Tunes Publishing; or, at the very least, your own installment in Mad magazine!

P.S. Anyone else wondering whether John Colapinto is having second thoughts about hitching his wagon to this collection of kooks?

UPDATE (5/17/08): Doc, of course, couldn't wait to prostrate himself before his beloved Angry Twit, such is his deepest, darkest desire for the man's approval (which Solomon offers and rejects on a whim, as a good tease should). Doc fawns:

Doc: "Solomon, All I can say is BRAVO!. [sic] What an incisive and percise [sic] article. The historical research is a feat in itself. So much for that myth.

Sad, and not a little pathetic, eh?