In an attempt to undoubtedly overcome his deep and abiding disappointment that Odyssey hasn't been convicted yet and taken out back and hung, our favorite Angry Twit is getting all metaphysical on us.
In the usual HHI style of pseudo-academic pondering, nitwit half thoughts, simplicities offered up as profundities, and rambling, discursive writing, Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ attempts to connect the history of the metaphysical (or the anti-scientific method), to the "fraudulent" work of Odyssey, and, of course, by extension, to insult the intelligence of all those who dare to foolishly support or invest in the company.
Some highlights from our favorite twat's (oops...sorry, we, of course, more respectfully meant "twit's") latest treatise, haughtily entitled "The American Phenomenon of Treasure Hunting":
Solomon: "Belief in mysticism and mythology is the antithesis of science. Who is the most likely to succeed in locating and finding 'treasure': seer or scientist? If common sense fails to provide the correct answer, results do not. Put another way: which is more likely to get you from New York to LA - an airliner, or a flying carpet? Simple, when you think about it. But not easy for many treasure hunters, who when confronted with science in general and archaeology in particular, throw up their hands and cry 'Why science? Why archaeology? Surely there's another way?!' Well, no, there is not."
Wow, that's really heavy dude...like, pass the joint. We're going to take a deep toke and get on our magic carpet for this ride. Lay the next non sequitur on us, oh wise one!
Solomon: "The USA - a land where Creationism competes with science - the most powerful nation the world has ever seen and where many refuse to accept the Moon landings, believe an angel watches over them, where millions believe they have been kidnapped by aliens, and where there is an endless list of companies (historically) selling stock to finance treasure hunts. It could dent one's belief in the value of democracy."
Wow dude, we don't know, but we're pretty sure you just dissed America big time. So, what are you saying here? Odyssey is a fraud because Americans are stupid and gullible? Your line of thinking in this paragraph, which forgive us, is all over the place, just lost us, bro.
Give us a moment, would you, while we consult our Ouija board. Okay, so, here's what the spirits want to know: What does all this have to do with the "value of democracy?" Are you suggesting fascism would better suit America? That it would make us smarter and less susceptible to snake charmers? Or are you perhaps suggesting we place ourselves under the rule of know-nothing bureaucrats such as you and your delusional mates? (Extreme shudders all around....)
Interesting point, we guess. But please pass the joint again, man, 'cause we're getting a righteous headache.
Solomon: "I am a believer in the harm caused by bad ideas. I do not suppose we care too much about the rich losing an investment in a treasure hunt, but most investors - and most 'marks' - have been dirt poor."
Yes, those poor silly rubes over at GLG, Janus Capital and Fortress Investment. Odyssey taking advantage of these pathetic, uninformed dill-weeds! Why, it just makes us want to...want to...burn or tear something up! Like maybe our wives' bras or something that would make the appropriate statement!
That's some powerful, revolutionary stuff there, homeboy. We're frankly exhausted from laughing so hard. We can't wait to read more of your theories connecting Odyssey's evil to the Salem witch trials, the Pilgrims, the Puritans, the Renaissance, the oppression of Galileo, moon landings and alien abductions, the stupidity of Americans, and so much more! (Hey, just for our silly American palate, can you work in something about Elvis sightings too?!)
So, there you have it, friends, yet another collection of "deep thoughts" from the Angry Twit. Pretty formidable opponents Odyssey has, wouldn't you agree? Solomon, we see a possible book contract for you in all this, perhaps from Loony Tunes Publishing; or, at the very least, your own installment in Mad magazine!
P.S. Anyone else wondering whether John Colapinto is having second thoughts about hitching his wagon to this collection of kooks?
UPDATE (5/17/08): Doc, of course, couldn't wait to prostrate himself before his beloved Angry Twit, such is his deepest, darkest desire for the man's approval (which Solomon offers and rejects on a whim, as a good tease should). Doc fawns:
Doc: "Solomon, All I can say is BRAVO!. [sic] What an incisive and percise [sic] article. The historical research is a feat in itself. So much for that myth.
Sad, and not a little pathetic, eh?
In the usual HHI style of pseudo-academic pondering, nitwit half thoughts, simplicities offered up as profundities, and rambling, discursive writing, Sir Solomon the Angry Twit™ attempts to connect the history of the metaphysical (or the anti-scientific method), to the "fraudulent" work of Odyssey, and, of course, by extension, to insult the intelligence of all those who dare to foolishly support or invest in the company.
Some highlights from our favorite twat's (oops...sorry, we, of course, more respectfully meant "twit's") latest treatise, haughtily entitled "The American Phenomenon of Treasure Hunting":
Solomon: "Belief in mysticism and mythology is the antithesis of science. Who is the most likely to succeed in locating and finding 'treasure': seer or scientist? If common sense fails to provide the correct answer, results do not. Put another way: which is more likely to get you from New York to LA - an airliner, or a flying carpet? Simple, when you think about it. But not easy for many treasure hunters, who when confronted with science in general and archaeology in particular, throw up their hands and cry 'Why science? Why archaeology? Surely there's another way?!' Well, no, there is not."
Wow, that's really heavy dude...like, pass the joint. We're going to take a deep toke and get on our magic carpet for this ride. Lay the next non sequitur on us, oh wise one!
Solomon: "The USA - a land where Creationism competes with science - the most powerful nation the world has ever seen and where many refuse to accept the Moon landings, believe an angel watches over them, where millions believe they have been kidnapped by aliens, and where there is an endless list of companies (historically) selling stock to finance treasure hunts. It could dent one's belief in the value of democracy."
Wow dude, we don't know, but we're pretty sure you just dissed America big time. So, what are you saying here? Odyssey is a fraud because Americans are stupid and gullible? Your line of thinking in this paragraph, which forgive us, is all over the place, just lost us, bro.
Give us a moment, would you, while we consult our Ouija board. Okay, so, here's what the spirits want to know: What does all this have to do with the "value of democracy?" Are you suggesting fascism would better suit America? That it would make us smarter and less susceptible to snake charmers? Or are you perhaps suggesting we place ourselves under the rule of know-nothing bureaucrats such as you and your delusional mates? (Extreme shudders all around....)
Interesting point, we guess. But please pass the joint again, man, 'cause we're getting a righteous headache.
Solomon: "I am a believer in the harm caused by bad ideas. I do not suppose we care too much about the rich losing an investment in a treasure hunt, but most investors - and most 'marks' - have been dirt poor."
Yes, those poor silly rubes over at GLG, Janus Capital and Fortress Investment. Odyssey taking advantage of these pathetic, uninformed dill-weeds! Why, it just makes us want to...want to...burn or tear something up! Like maybe our wives' bras or something that would make the appropriate statement!
That's some powerful, revolutionary stuff there, homeboy. We're frankly exhausted from laughing so hard. We can't wait to read more of your theories connecting Odyssey's evil to the Salem witch trials, the Pilgrims, the Puritans, the Renaissance, the oppression of Galileo, moon landings and alien abductions, the stupidity of Americans, and so much more! (Hey, just for our silly American palate, can you work in something about Elvis sightings too?!)
So, there you have it, friends, yet another collection of "deep thoughts" from the Angry Twit. Pretty formidable opponents Odyssey has, wouldn't you agree? Solomon, we see a possible book contract for you in all this, perhaps from Loony Tunes Publishing; or, at the very least, your own installment in Mad magazine!
P.S. Anyone else wondering whether John Colapinto is having second thoughts about hitching his wagon to this collection of kooks?
UPDATE (5/17/08): Doc, of course, couldn't wait to prostrate himself before his beloved Angry Twit, such is his deepest, darkest desire for the man's approval (which Solomon offers and rejects on a whim, as a good tease should). Doc fawns:
Doc: "Solomon, All I can say is BRAVO!. [sic] What an incisive and percise [sic] article. The historical research is a feat in itself. So much for that myth.
Sad, and not a little pathetic, eh?
1 comment:
Solomon: "I am a believer in the harm caused by bad ideas."
How ironic. All I've ever seen at HHI are bad ideas, and that is why one of their members is being sued for libel.
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