Queen Bee Bartram

We warned you we could be really collectively stupid and immature. And we hate to disappoint. So today we're sharing a song we wrote, inspired by a very clever friend who, almost as an aside, noted that Solomon, aka John Bartram (the Angry Twit), appears to be HHI's Queen Bee, with the rest of the poseurs merely busy buzzing worker bees.

So without further ado, and with deepest apologies to Koko Taylor (our official Goddess and muse), we offer you the following tune sang to the bluesy strummings in the key of E.

Bartram's Queen Bee Blues

Well, I'm a queen bee, baby
Buzzin’ round Odyssey’s hive
Yeah, I'm a queen bee baby
Buzzin’ all round OMEX’s hive
And when you hear me buzzin'
You know you’re hearing jive

Now I'm not so young and able, to buzz all night long
Aww, I said I'm just not able, to buzz all night long
So when you hear my little minions buzzin’
You know some proxy stinging is going on.
Hear them buzz!

Well I'm a queen bee, baby
Won't you be my friend?
Yeah I'm a queen bee, baby
Please won't you be my friend?
Together we all can sink Odyssey
And shut-up this bald, drunken Mother Hen

Well there’s Doc and Smitty and Mcaguy
And Andy and Frigata and Fleas
A jackass named Laughing-gull
And a rat who goes by “friend-of-steves”
What do they have in common?
What do they do indeed?
They all do my frantic bidding
To bring Odyssey to its knees
Oh yeah yeah

Now why do we all do it?
Why do we buzz with such hate?
Why do we risk lawsuits and sanctions?
When we’d much rather masturbate?
The answer is very simple
The meaning is very clear
We’re a bunch of insignificant losers
Who haven’t been laid in years
Oh yeah yeah

That’s all of it now, baby
Your queen honey bee is done
It’s time for me to shut my yap
And get HHI moving on
I hope you liked my singing
I hope you liked my song
But oh, my God, whatever you do
Don’t compare me to Smitty’s schlong

Oh yeah yeah
I mean no, no!

And there you have it, ladies and gents: Art.